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S72 PT #0: Trades, Trades, Trades
#61

In the 1998 NHL Draft, the Detroit Red Wings used the 171st overall pick on an undersized Russian forward named Pavel Datsyuk. After a legendary 14-year career in Detroit, Datsyuk and the Red Wings had a slightly messy breakup when the Magic Man announced he intended to return to play in Russia. To clear cap space, Detroit send Datsyuk's contract and the 16th overall pick in the 2016 draft to the Arizona Coyotes for the 20th pick, the 53rd pick, and forward Joe Vitale. Datsyuk never returned to the NHL and Vitale never played for the Red Wings, sitting out the 2016-'17 season and subsequently retiring due to repeated concussions.

With the 16th pick in 2016, the Coyotes selected defenseman Jakob Chychrun; after 7 seasons he was traded to the Ottawa Senators for a 2023 1st round pick, which they used to select 6'5" Russian LW Daniil But, and 2nd-round picks in the 2024 and 2026 drafts. The Red Wings used the 20th pick on defenseman Dennis Cholowski and the 53rd pick on defenseman Filip Hronek. Cholowski never met his potential with Detroit and would be selected by Seattle in the 2021 expansion draft. Hronek developed into the better player of the two, and in 2023 was traded to the Vancouver Canucks for the 17th and 43rd picks in the 2023 draft. Detroit used the 17th pick to select Swedish defenseman Axel Sandin Pellikka, and traded the 43rd pick to the Nashville Predators for the 47th and 147th picks. Nashville selected center Felix Nilsson 43rd, while Detroit used the 47th pick on American defenseman Brady Cleveland and the 147th pick on German left wing Kevin Bicker.

Neither Joe Vitale nor Datsyuk himself recorded any statistics in the NHL after the trade. The three active players, Chychrun, Cholowski, and Hronek, have together combined for 811 NHL games played, 102 goals, and 260 assists, compared to Datsyuk's career of 953 NHL games, 314 goals, and 604 assists. Granted, Datsyuk was a center being compared to 3 defensemen, so it isn't the fairest comparison to make. The more interesting number to compare might be the +/- ratings -- Datsyuk finished a +246 for his career, compared to a combined -178 for the three active players!

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#62

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#63

Okay, this is going to be a random one but stick with me. 

The trade tree that I'm going to talk about is the Jose Theodore trade tree. For a lot of us younger Hab fans at the time, Jose Theodore was an incredible goalie (I'll never forget the behind the back save against Boston in the playoffs or the time he scored!!)

But, due to off ice issues (propecia use...propecia is a hair loss medication that contains finasteride, a common masking agent for steroids) and rumors of mafia connections (never proven) and poor play, he lasted only four and a half seasons with the Canadiens as a starter when he was dealt for David Aebischer straight up. Aebischer is still playing, albeit in the Swiss league. Theodore fizzled out but he had an incredible peak.

I guess the tree isn't that interesting, but it gets more interesting if you include Theodore's replacement, Cristobal Huet.

Huet was traded for a 2009 second round pick due to the emergence of Carey Price. That pick was then traded to Anaheim for Mathieu Schneider and a third round pick swap. Schneider played one season with the Habs before moving on. Schneider, of course, won the cup with the Canadiens in 1993.

Nice little trip down memory lane there.

(220 words)

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#64
(This post was last modified: 07-25-2023, 10:44 PM by notorioustig. Edited 1 time in total.)

Foreword: Peter Chiarelli is hockey's greatest dumbass and I hope that every time he puts on his shoes there is a piece of lego in them. This would purely be for my imaginary benefit as I'm fully aware he is too dumb to register pain as a stimulus. This fucking menace to society is famous for many dogshit trades, even the "one for one" referenced in this task option's name. Actually, allow me to rephrase - dogshit is potentially useful as fertilizer or a prank you can play on your friends, Peter Chiarelli is only useful as a double agent you send to destroy a hockey team from within. If you told me the Calgary Flames paid him a billion dollars to sewer the Oilers, I would tell you they underpaid him for the extraordinary work they did. Every time he's rumoured to be interviewing for another GM spot in the NHL I pray to gods I don't even believe in, just in the hopes that for once another fanbase can be the butt of what can only be described as a sick cosmic joke in the form of a bald, mustachioed fraud. The fact that Boston won a cup with him as GM can only be described as an outright fluke or a miracle of checks and balances in their front office that kept him from trading Bergeron because the vibes were slightly off. In conclusion, a hearty fuck you to Pete - for your sake I hope god isn't an Oilers fan, although if that were the case, I suppose I wouldn't even know your name.

Ok now the actual PT:

Much has been made about the way Peter Chiarelli, noted dumbass, hemorrhaged assets as the GM of the Edmonton Oilers. Hall for Larsson, the reverse red paperclip series of turning Jordan Eberle into Sam Gagner, not to mention the day Boston refused to trade him Dougie Hamilton because of bad blood after his firing, resulting in him taking basically the same package and trading it for Griffin Reinhart, who it should be pointed out is not Dougie Hamilton. He's not even Dougie Hamilton's little brother Freddie.

On top of these baseball-style machete hacks straight to the major arteries of the team, Chiarelli also executed a death by a thousand cuts type thing as well, because at this point I'm fairly certain this is the bad place and he is a literal demon sent from hell to torture me before whatever Satan changed into his Ken Holland suit instead to switch things up. While the big trades were crushing, Chiarelli's final trade as Oilers GM - made just days before he was canned about 3.5 years too late - was the one that to this day just feels outright insulting, as if he straight up sought to twist the knife into the bloodied carcass of what was left of the roster he'd built. Some of you kids might be too young to remember this, but back in the wild west era of 2015, some nobody named Brandon Manning broke Connor McDavid's collarbone. Naturally, Manning was public enemy #1 in Edmonton after this. Worse yet was the way he continued to be a complete loser about it in subsequent meetings between the Oilers and Flyers. Things got heated, McDavid went after him, Manning got absolutely bodied by Patrick Maroon, catharsis and whatnot. Great. Hopefully we never have to hear about that Manning asshole again.

We move on, then as the 2018/2019 season gets going, things are bad! As it turns out, Chiarelli's past few years of management have really started catching up to him. Zack Kassian is playing in the top six. Tobias Rieder hasn't scored a goal. Cam Talbot is struggling after several years of getting ridden into the dirt without a strong backup. The Lucic contract was working out even worse than people expected, which is incredible because that shit got lampooned the day it was signed. The lack of depth (ie. players he traded away) is causing major issues, yet the team was facing cap trouble. Kris Russell is signed for 4 million dollars to play defense for a National Hockey League team, namely this one. He fires the coach, brings in Ken Hitchcock, trades Ryan Strome (good NHLer) for Ryan Spooner (not that), but somehow the losses keep piling up. The team needs a shakeup, bad. People have been calling for Chiarelli's head for months. Smart people like me have been calling for it since the Reinhart trade. Make no mistake, dude is up against it - he is on the hotseat.

When your GM sucks ass at his job, you don't want him to make any moves, let alone panic moves, so this was a tumultuous time. Then one fateful day, he acquires Alex Petrovic from Florida for a 3rd. This was not the trade in question though, it was merely part one of the New Years Eve Eve shitshow. It was almost just a little teaser so that he could make sure everyone was plugged into Twitter at the same time. Just as everyone is processing trading a decent pick for a 7th defenseman, Twitter flares up again. The Oilers have traded Drake Caggiula and Jason Garrison to Chicago. A decent enough young forward a couple of years into his career and a depth defenseman. Not a blockbuster, but roster players - perhaps something somewhat noteworthy coming back? Normally when a hockey team makes a trade, fans have that moment of "I wonder who we got?" For Oilers fans during this period, that question was instead "oh god oh fuck who did we trade away?" and usually the answer made us want to take corkscrews to our eyes. So oftentimes we'd see a trade that was only a little bad and go "haha phew, ok, at least the asshole didn't trade McDavid." The hockey gods, however, are cruel and fickle beings, and by happenstance, they discovered this last comfort of Oilers supporters, our final refuge from the madman's relentless assault on the fanbase. "At least we didn't trade McDavid" rang hollow in the minutes that followed, as we found out that we'd just traded for Brandon fucking Manning.

This wasn't just a bad trade, it was an outright insult. The fans hate Brandon Manning. The team hates Brandon Manning. Not a single person wanted Brandon Manning on the Oilers except Chiarelli. This wasn't even a case of a good player who you hate when they're not on your team, he was not good at all and also universally hated. Calls for Chiarelli's head intensified from even the apologists in the Oilers fanbase, the team was super awkward about it in interviews, and all for a player who would go on to play 21 total games as an Oiler over two seasons, scoring two goals and getting released by the AHL squad for using a racial slur. The team needed a lifeline and their GM threw a grenade at them. Was it the objectively worst trade Chiarelli made in his time as an Oiler? Probably not. But as the last one he made, the context around it, and how angry it made everyone for just about every reason, it occupies a special place in the black tar pit I used to call a heart.

*spits*

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#65

The worst trade I've experienced in my hockey fan career was a trading of franchises. My beloved hometown Manchester Monarchs of the AHL swapped cities and branding with the Ontario Reign of the ECHL. A sleeper great hockey city like Manchester didn't deserve a low rate ECHL team from California. Even worse, the Monarchs were a successful AHL team, only missing the playoffs once and never having a losing record. The Monarchs would have their best regular season yet in their final year in Manchester, going on to win the franchise's only Calder Cup, becoming the fourth AHL team to win a Calder Cup in their last game as a franchise. The team would go on to continue this success in Ontario, California, only having two losing seasons since the move. And how did the ECHL Monarchs do? They also never had a losing season, but folded after only four years in Manchester, having failed to find a new owner. Now Manchester has no hockey team and a hole in their heart while Ontario continues to enjoy our beloved team.

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#66

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#67

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#68

PROMPT 1: The Trade is 1 for 1

My favorite hockey team is the Pittsburgh Penguins, and they've had some doozies in their day. A team that seems to excel when they swing for the fences, but fail horrifically when it comes to minor swaps. Their cups in '91 and '92 are thanks to a huge deal involving Ron Francis, their cups in '16 and '17 from Phil Kessel. A lot more goes into it, but bringing high value talent seems to work. On the other hand they've had some horrific duds. I think many forget that Markus Naslund was a Penguin. He was traded for Alek Stojanov, an enforcer who found himself out of the league after one season with the Penguins where he played 35 games and had 5 points. Naslund went on to player over 1000 games and finish his career with 869 points. That's maybe the worst value deal in the history of the organization. But wait, there's more. Trading FOR high end talent may work out, but what about trading the established superstar? Look no further than the Penguins trading Jaromir Jagr. He was traded away in 2001 for Kris Beech, Michal Sivek and Ross Lupaschuk. And if you find yourself asking, "who are those guys?" you are correct. A horrible deal kicking off one of the worst eras for a franchise in the history of the NHL. It's tough to match either of these deals in terms of horrifically giving up value for nothing in return. But I would argue one trade kicked off a devastating series of moves and a philosophy that irreparably damaged the franchise. After winning back to back Stanley Cups in 2016 and 2017, the team made a weird decision. They traded their first round pick for Ryan Reaves and a second round pick. The second round pick retired during his junior career, so that's already something. But as bad as Reaves was for the Penguins (and he was quite bad), it was the first of many moves that slowly tore down the Stanley Cup contending Penguins until they were left as a shell of what they were during their championship runs. Slowly the cupboard was stripped clean and no real talent was brought in for it. There have been good moves since then, and many years the team looks quite strong as their core seems to defy the aging curve. But bringing in Ryan Reaves as an attempt to "change the team's style" moved them away from a winning formula and brought them into many early exits and a tough future.

tl;dr = Ryan Reaves trade was worse for the Penguins in the long run than trading Jagr or Naslund for nothing.

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#69

I don't know what a trade tree is, so I'll talk about STL's biggest and best trades. STL is going for that iconic 3-year turnaround rebuild. From a league-worst record in s70 (16-44-6) with a -119 GD to a .500 s70 record (33-28-5) with a positive 6 GD, this team is only going one direction: up. STL made some moves to ensure that this happened. Halfway through s71, they gave up a 1st and 2nd in the s72 draft so that they could bring in two capped players for the remainder of the season and all of s72, Center James Ward-Prowse and Defenseman Robin Nyckel. The fate of STL's playoff hopes rests squarely on the shoulders of these two players. Expectations will be high due to the hefty price that was paid to acquire them. There is no more trade capital left in these players since they will age out of the J league after this season. So Gumba and Sparky are putting their chips in the middle here for a major run deep into the playoffs.

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#70

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#71

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#72

Prompt 2:

The Vancouver Canucks trade Todd Bertuzzi, Alex Auld and Bryan Allen to the Florida Panthers for Roberto Luongo, Lukas Krajicek and a 6th round draft pick (Sergei Shirokov), on June 23, 2006.

Roberto Luongo was the best goaltender to ever play in Vancouver. He was traded back to Florida on March 4, 2014 in exchange for Shawn Matthias and Jacob Markstrom. Markstrom and Matthias left Vancouver via Free Agency and Luongo retired in Florida.

Funny enough, Todd Bertuzzi was traded to Detroit from Florida for Shawn Matthias in 2007, along with a draft pick that turned into Nick Spaling, so that trade tree is dead as both players were never traded again. Bryan Allen was traded from Florida to Carolina in 2011 for Sergei Samsonov. Sergei Samsonov was never traded again, so that's dead. Alex Auld was traded a few more times in his career but he left Florida via free agency.

Great trade, but a terrible trade tree! (162)
#73

Don't know enough history in SHL, but the worst trade my favorite Canucks made was quite recent. Trading away about 12 million in a 3 player cap dump, all expiring at the end of the season, our 1st that season which was high at 9th overall, plus a future 2nd and 7th, for what was probably one of the worst contracts in the league in Oliver ekman-larson, and a young Connor Garland. At the time I felt ok about Garland, and he has turned out pretty much as expected. At this point he doesn't really fit the team chemistry and may be on the way out. The 9th turned into Guenther, who looks to be a good future NHLer in the near future for years to come. The real boat anchor is OEL. Bad at the time, bad after coming here, and even worse a year later. The even worse news is we just bought him out, so this trade gets to keep giving us pain for the next 8 years. Thanks Jim.

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#74

Even thought I would like to talk by the worse about the rangers it been overkill what the worse trades so I do something different. The trade in question is.

Ranger Receive: Chris Bigras

Avalanche Receive: Ryan Graves

This may look like a small deal on the surface but it not. Let talk about the ranger side Chris would never play any nhl game again and Ryan Graves has been a solid defensive d man that ranger really need becuase they have to many offensive d man. This trade is basically nothing Ryan graves as a ranger fan this stings. Yeah this isn’t the worst trade of all but it still stings.
#75

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