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Tentacle Tales #3 - A Breakdown of the Draft and Playoffs (2X Draft Media)
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Tentacle Tales # 3 - A Comprehensive Breakdown of The Draft and Playoffs

Welcome back to Tentacle Tales, your all in one news source for happenings around the SMJHL. With the Offseason winding to a close and the preseason about to kick off, if you would like a complete breakdown round by round of the SMJHL Playoffs I would recommend reading my playoff recaps. For this article we will just be talking about the playoffs overall and pointing out some standout performances.

Timber  Maine Timber Win it All  Timber

Congratulations to the Maine Timber on winning the Four Star Cup in Season 73. With 4 finals appearances in a row, the Timber have won their third Four Star Cup in the past 6 seasons, this time beating the Newfoundland Berserkers with their third finals appearance between the two in those 6 seasons. After a first round bye after finishing second in the league Maine would go on to sweep the first two rounds of playoffs, beating the Detroit Falcons and the Vancouver Whalers. Matching up against Newfoundland again in the finals, Maine finished them off 4-1 as they won it all with only 1 loss in the playoffs. Logan Webb was the scoring leader for Maine, coming over to the team from Kelowna and notching 92 points in the regular season and 23 points in their 13 playoff games. The goal leader was Shootin Blanks with 11 goals and 22 points in the playoffs, capping off their SMJHL career with their second Four Star Cup as they played with Maine in all four seasons. Defensive scoring was led by S73 rookie Teal'c who was a point per game with 13. Goaltending was led by another S73 rookie Gewmba Stolemamoney, who put up a .922 save percentage and a 2.14 goals against average as they backstopped Maine to all 12 wins in the series. With this being Teal'c and Gewmba's first seasons in the SMJHL, winning the Four Star Cup as key contributors is a huge accomplishment and bodes well for their future in the SMJHL. 

Playoff Performers - Forwards

The playoffs are a time where players are expected to rise to the occasion and make their mark on the series. Whether you're a 1st line allstar or a 3rd liner with 5 minutes a game, nothing matters other than if you show up in the big moments. Whether it is Martin Jones putting up a 58 save game to force a Game 7 in 2019, Pastrnak's six point night against the Leafs in 2018, Justin Williams cementing himself in playoff history after scoring multiple game 7 winners, or even the Columbus Blue Jackets upsetting the President's Trophy winning Tampa Bay Lightning, one game or playoff run can make or break a season. (Or in Williams's case their career)  The SMJHL playoffs were filled with moments like this across the series played, most notably with the Great Falls Grizzlies (finished 14th) upsetting the Anchorage Armada (finished 3rd) in the first round of the playoffs.

Here were your playoff points leaders for Season 73.
1. Dan Craig - Berserkers - 37 Points - 18 Goals 19 Assists
2. Erik Erikson - Berserkers - 34 Points - 16 Goals 18 Assists
3. Sad Ketchup - Berserkers - 26 Points - 9 Goals 17 Assists
4. Aksel VINSen - Battleborn - 25 Points - 9 Goals 16 Assists
5. Thomas Sawschuk - Battleborn - 23 Points - 10 Goals 13 Assists
6. Logan Webb - Timber - 23 Points - 9 Goals 14 Assists
7. Brock Samson - Battleborn - 22 Points - 11 Goals 11 Assists
8. Cracker Pizza - Berserkers - 22 Points - 3 Goals 19 Assists
9. Shootin Blanks - Berserkers - 22 Points - 12 Goals 10 Assists
10. Entropy Sanchez - Berserkers - 21 Points - 8 Goals 13 Assists

The playoff scoring race was definitely skewed in favour of the Newfoundland Berserkers due to how many games they played in the postseason, but still 37 and 34 points from Craig and Erikson in 24 games is absurd. Shootin Blanks is the lone gunman for the Maine timber on the list with 22 in 13, but that puts them on pace to lead the playoffs in scoring if they played as many games as the others. VINSen and Sawschuk were money for the Nevada Battleborn, playing 14 games and still finishing top 5 in overall playoff scoring as they were eliminated in Round 2.

Scoring is one of if not the most important part of being a forward, but the majority of hockey is played without the puck on your stick so you better know what to do when you don't have the biscuit. Having defensive forwards or two-way specialists are always important as they need to shut down the opposing team's forwards and tilt the ice in favour of your team. With a commitment to backchecking, penalty killing, and disrupting the opponent's offense, defensive forwards are a crucial role. I'd like to shed some light on the players that best filled these roles over the playoffs.

Defensive Forward Leaders (ranked by DGR)
1. Jordan Thompson - Timber   79 DGR - 11 BLK - 42 HIT
2. Morgan Delfield - Timber   77 DGR - 6 BLK - 13 HIT
3. Marek Carda - Falcons   76 DGR - 13 BLK - 11 HIT
4. Levin Schattenaxt - Grizzlies   76 DGR - 11 BLK - 32 HIT
5. Julian Kuznatsov - Timber 76 DGR - 9 BLK - 31 HIT
6. Maxwell King II - Timber 75 DGR - 11 BLK - 36 HIT
7. Ubba Lodbrok - Armada 75 DGR - 6 BLK - 11 HIT
8. Brock Samson - Battleborn 75 DGR - 7 BLK - 43 HIT
9. Thomas Sawschuk - Battleborn 74 DGR - 11 BLK - 23 HIT
10. Florian Soderberg-Motyla - Malamutes   74 DGR - 3 BLK - 13 HIT

Playoff Performers - Defenders

Almost every team in modern day hockey use reliable defenders that can switch and rotate around the zone, move the puck well, and provide offense from the back end. Defenders are one of the most important roles over the entirety of the ice and are often not given the praise they deserve, especially since the best defensive performances are the ones you don't normally notice. A strong offensive performance from the backend can make or break a game, but defenders aren't relied on to carry the team offensively. Beyond their defensive responsibility of stifling the best forwards in the league, defenders have a pivotal role transitioning defense to offense, counter attacking with a quick breakout, or even just not turning the puck over with a pizza up the middle. The playoffs magnify the significance of almost every play and having a reliable defender who does everything well can help take some of that pressure off. We will take a quick look at the defenders that led the playoffs in scoring and also defensive defenders.

Here were your playoff points leaders for Season 73.

1. Adelbert Steiner Berserkers - 21
2. Ondrej von Stoodrick Berserkers - 19
3. Heem Team Berserkers - 16
4. West Thunderbass Berserkers - 16
5. Teal'c Timber - 13
6. Mick Mayhem Timber - 11
7. Jeff GoldBlum Timber - 10
8. Temetrius Jamel "Ja" Morant Wick Berserkers - 9
9. Icee Richradson Timber - 9
1-. Kaarlo Koivunen Malamutes  - 8

With the top 8 defenders all being on the two Four Star Cup finalists, the offense they generated from the back end was a key component to winning in the playoffs. Newfoundland had a ton of scoring from the defense, with 4 players having 16 plus points and having Adelbert Steiner who was the lone defender with over 20 points in the playoffs.

Best Defense First Defenders (ranked by DGR)

1. Buster Knutt Timber - 80 DGR - 53 BLK - 16 HIT
2. Lazer Gato Kraken - 80 DGR - 28 BLK - 13 HIT
3. Billy Hill Grizzlies - 78 DGR - 17 BLK - 39 HIT
4. Westley Kirkpatrick Kraken - 77 DGR - 26 BLK - 9 HIT
5. Artturi Lappalainen Scarecrows - 76 DGR - 25 BLK - 13 HIT
6. Boho Biscuit Elk - 76 DGR - 25 BLK - 3 HIT
7. Teal'c Timber - 75 DGR - 11 BLK - 29 HIT
8. Wes Thunderbass Berserkers - 75 DGR - 52 BLK - 23 HIT
9. Jeff GoldBlum Timber - 74 DGR - 23 BLK - 19 HIT
10. Gavin Harrison Falcons -  74 DGR - 29 BLK - 8 HIT

A strong defensive backbone is important for success in a team, with Maine exemplifying this for this past season, with Buster Knutt leading the league in DGR enroute to a championship. Excelling in shot blocks, hits and takeaways, the defensive defenseman is often outshined by their more offensive counterparts. A lot of teams have a solid defensive defender, evident by a good amount of spread around the league in defensive stat leaders, Wes Thunderbass and Buster Knutt were puck magnets and had 105 combined blocked shots. Billy Hill is a defensive defender who had a big 39 hits to go along with a 78 DGR and a single game winning goal for the Great Falls Grizzlies's underdog playoff run and Carolina's Lazer Gato and Westley Kirkpatrick combined with an 80 DGR and 78 DHR for a solid performance.

Playoff Performers - Goaltenders

The last line of defense is the goaltender, who can single-handedly dictate the outcome of not only a game, but an entire series. Goalies can transform a team's playoff chances for either good or bad with most playoff games being lower scoring than the regular season. The importance of having an elite goaltender in the playoffs can not be understated, even though goaltender TPE can be hit or miss, you'll always want a solid netminder to bail you out when you need it most. 

Top Goaltenders
1. Gewmba Stolemamoney - Timber - 12 Wins - 2.14 GAA - .922sv% - 15.79 GSAA
2. Ben Harrison - Berserkers - 13 Wins - 3.71 GAA - .901 sv% - 19.68 GSAA
3. Wayne Holloway - Falcons - 4 Wins - 4.10 GAA - .904sv% - 8.97 GSAA
4. Denebor Milasch - Kraken - 3 Wins - 3.44 GAA - .901 sv% - 5.92 GSAA
5. Just Perfection - Battleborn - 7 Wins - 3.03 GAA - .895 sv% - 6.09 GSAA
6. Beau Kavanagh - Grizzlies - 4 Wins - 2.80 GAA -  .890 sv% - 3.37 GSAA

Gewmba Stolemamoney was one of the biggest playoff performers this season, being the only goaltender to post a save percentage in the .920s.  Gewmba was also the only goaltender to have a sub 2.80 goals against average, an mvp caliber run for sure. To show it wasn't just the defense playing phenomenal for Maine, Gewmba Stolemamoney had the second highest Goals Saved Above Average with 15.79, just over 6 GSAA above third place. Ben Harrison was the GSAA leader with 19.68, saving almost 20 more goals than a replacement level goaltender. Harrison also led the league in wins with 13, but the Berserkers played an extra round of hockey than the eventual winners Maine.

The SMJHL Draft

Marking my first full season as part of the SHL community, the SMJHL draft has come and gone with new blood entering the league again, as well as recreates and retirees rejoining some SMJHL teams. There was a lot of shuffling in the first round, with trades coming in through the days leading up to the draft, and more trades happening the day of and during. Quebec City made a huge move and traded up for the 1st overall pick, with Carolina giving up the first overall pick  to move down to 8th and acquiring a large package. Carolina and Quebec both had two picks inside the top 10, Quebec City with 1 and 7, Carolina with 2 and 8.

I'll be doing a quick breakdown of the first round of the draft, with just a recap of what teams drafted what players at the end, so if you're just curious about who ended up where and don't want to go through and check it all yourself, it'll be right at the end.

1st Overall - Quebec City Citadelles  Citadelles
Demir Bellona - Kalakar
Right Defense

Quebec City made a huge trade pre-draft in order to acquire the first overall pick to draft Demir Bellona. Bellona is a two-way defender standing at 5'11, created by longtime user Kalakar, who has their previous player Matt Kholin inducted into the HOF after an extensive list of awards won. With an absolute slam dunk of a pick, Quebec looks to add to their solid sophomore group with another impact rookie. Sitting on a bank over over $113M, Demir looks to make an immediate impact with their roster spot.
Strengths:
Passing (13), Puckhandling (13), Offensive Read (13), Checking (13), Positioning (13), Defensive Read (13)

2nd Overall - Carolina Kraken  Kraken
Olivija Agate - jacobcarson877
Right Defense

The smooth skating defender is a first generation player from an active user who made a great impression on the Carolina Kraken enough to get drafted second overall. Agate made their debut with UCORCAL in the World Junior Championship as the Latvian native put up 2 assists in 12 games as UCORCAL didn't make it out of groups. A solid bank of $6M for the first gen should get them through the first season with Chirper supplementing their income.
Strengths:
Acceleration (15)
Speed (15)
Stamina (15)

3rd Overall - Colorado Raptors  Raptors
Pinli Switchbang - leviadan
Center

With a well rounded playmaking build, Switchbang is a 5'0 center that might be the shortest player in the SMJHL. The complete opposite of Zdeno Chara, this recreate has just under $100M in the bank as their last player Burlok Sulfurgold retired after hitting the 2K club as well as 4 Challenge Cups. A long time user with great potential, Colorado has most likely struck gold with the third overall pick.
Strengths:
Passing (14)
Offensive Read (14)

4th Overall - St. Louis Scarecrows Scarecrows
Charlie Slurpe - Serpe x 13
Center

Charlie Slurpe has solid defensive and physical stats, with a strength in playmaking. The American center specializes in passing and puck handling,  which should help St. Louis facilitate some offense.  With a big bank of $128M, the 221 TPE center should help St. Louis build up their offense. Rocking a lower shot accuracy and range, Slurpe looks to be a pass first player that can still contribute with the puck off of their stick.
Strengths:
Passing (15)
Puckhandling (14)

5th Overall - Detroit Falcons  Falcons
Kal Åkar Kekkonen - WannabeFinn
Right Defense

The third right defender taken in the draft, Kal Akar Kekkonen looks to be a solid two way defender with the ability to throw a good punch. Coming from a long line of Kekkonens that have all had good careers, Kal Akar steps onto the ice straight from the Gielinor Wilderness. After maxing out their woodcutting and fishing stats, they decided it was time to max out their Defensive Read and Positioning stats and strapped on the skates. WannabeFinn was inducted into the Hall of Fame as Buffalo's GM and Detroit I'm sure is very happy to pick them up at 5th overall. With over 9 years on the site and $39M in the bank, Kal Akar Kekkonen is going to be pushing hard to keep up their winning ways like they've had as GM and previous players.
Strengths:
Balance (13)
Defensive Read (13)
Positioning (13)
Checking (13)
Strength (13)

6th Overall - Anchorage Armada  Armada
Jesus Murphy - notorioustig
Center

Jesus Murphy comes into the league with solid all around stats, poised to build whichever way they want with only shot blocking and shooting range sitting below 11. Capping some stats at 13, this player looks like they'll have a solid season with Anchorage. Another 2k Club and Hall of Fame member, tig rounds out the top 6 picks as Anchorage gets another solid player to add to their powerhouse of a squad from last season. $24M in the bank gets them through a couple seasons of max earning in the SMJHL and the 6'5 center looks like they're poised for a great career.
Strengths:
Getting Open (13)
Puckhandling (13)
Offensive Read (13)
Checking (13)
Strength (13)

7th Overall - Quebec City Citadelles Citadelles
Song Ju-gong - Puppy
Goaltender

Song Ju-gong made a big impression on the Quebec City Citadelles after being picked up for 3 games to back up Net Man, Quebec drafted them at 7th overall. A big risk drafting a goaltender in the top 10, Song Ju-gong already has a huge bank for a first gen, with $13.5M in the bank and another 13.9M pending after an $11M rookie contract from the Citadelles. In their brief stint with the Citadelles last season, Ju-gong had a 3-0 record with a 2.59 GAA and .912 save percentage. If they can keep these stats up over the course of a full season, Ju-gong could be a huge pickup for the young Quebec City team who is now missing Net Man.
Strengths:
Mental Toughness (13)
Reflexes (12)

8th Overall - Carolina Kraken Kraken
Ongo Gablogian - Ragnar
Right Defense

The onslaught of right defenders continues with Ongo Gablogian being picked up by the Carolina Kraken as they get their second defender of the draft. With the largest bank I've ever seen at $537M, Ragnar has the opportunity to be one of the biggest steals of the draft. Another Hall of Famer, this player falling to 8th shows how deep this draft is. After switching careers from collecting art for all the finest places in Philadelphia, Gablogian boasts impressive defensive abilities as well as solid offensive stats. Using their ability to read and understand abstract paintings, Ongo is an expert at reading the defensive zone and separate players from the puck consistently. A home run of a pick from Carolina, user Ragnar will prove that all they need to succeed is an Advil, a roll of duct tape, a pack of peanuts, and four beers.
Strengths:
Defensive Read (16)
Checking (13)
Hitting (13)

9th Overall - Regina Elk Elk
Violet Stoica - Renomitsu
Center

Regina hit a solid pick with their first pick of the draft, snagging Violet Stoica (user Renomitsu) at 8th overall. A solid all around center with a good ability to read plays on offense and defense, standing at 6'0 with solid all around strength. Another user in the 2K club, this Swedish forward could be a big pickup for Regina as they can hopefully step in and help out immediately with a large part of their forward core graduating to the SHL. With a big bank of $25M, this recreate will most likely be a Regina mainstay for their junior career.
Strengths:
Passing (13)
Shooting Accuracy (13)
Offensive Read (13)
Stickchecking (13)
Defensive Read (13)

10th Overall - Nevada Battleborn Battleborn
Literally Wizard - baz
Left Wing

Rounding out the top 10 picks is a 6'4 Left Winger with solid offensive, skating, and defensive stats as Literally Wizard will look to produce for the Nevada Battleborn. Scoring 2 assists for the British Isles in the World Junior Championships on their off-wing, this first gen is looking to make a mark on the league and has a solid bank of $5.7M.  With 224 TPE already, Wizard will be trying to make some magic happen on the ice with the Battleborn as they lost their two top scorers from last season. With the departure of some of their top offensive scorers, Wizard steps in as the third highest TPE forward for Nevada and could get an important role on the power play and even strength. They could be an early candidate for a strong breakout season.
Strengths:
Passing (14)
Getting Open (13)
Puckhandling (13)
Offensive Read (13)
Defensive Read (13)
Faceoffs (13)
Checking (13)

11th Overall - Yukon Malamutes  Malamutes
Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava - leafsftw1967
Center

A recreated center with a $197M bank and a great user behind the player, the Malamutes jumped on the opportunity to draft leafsftw1967 and wasted no time in typing out the pick. With great offensive stats to go along with some solid physical and defensive ratings, Heroyam-Slava will most likely play on the wing for their first season as they step into the league being centered by a veteran presence. Another player in the 2K club and also in the Hall of Fame, I can speak on behalf of Yukon on how excited we are to have him.
Strengths:
Getting Open (14)
Passing (13)
Puckhandling (13)
Offensive Read (13)
Checking (13)
Balance (13)
Strength (13)

12th Overall - Quebec City Citadelles  Citadelles
Frederik Gronlund - Hordle
Right Defense
A Quebec City Citadelles legend, I think they ended up going to where everyone thought they would. A player that spawned a cult following, Denny's trips, and I'm sure more that never went public, Hordle returns to the Quebecois Team as a defender. A solid bank of $51M, Hordle should have no trouble hitting the 425 cap with their second stint with Quebec. With solid defensive stats, Hordle looks to keep the puck out of the net again, but this time not with goalie gear.
Strengths:
Positioning (14)
Defensive Read (14)

13th Overall - Newfoundland Berserkers  Berserkers
Eric Vanderberg Jr - Vandy
Right Defense

Another recreate, Vandy goes to the Newfoundland Berserkers after their finals appearance last season. Vanderberg Jr doesn't have any outstanding stats but makes up for it with 12 in every defensive and physical stat. With a couple offensive stats ranging between 10-12, Vanderberg Jr has a very well rounded build and can specialize into whatever they want once they get more TPE.
Strengths:
All Defensive Stats (12)
All Physical Stats (12)
Passing (12)
Puckhandling (12)

14th Overall - Maine Timber  Timber
Edouard Lavoie - Amidships
Center

A returning user that makes up half of the Lavoie duo, Edouard is a smooth skating offensive center with average defensive stats. Getting drafted to the cup winning Maine Timber, user Amidships has a $69M bank and should easily hit the 425 cap as they look to defend Maine's title this season.
Strengths:
Getting Open (13)
Passing (13)
Puckhandling (13)
Offensive Read(13)
All Skating Stats (13)

Recap by team:

Anchorage Armada  Armada
6th - Jesus Murphy, 26th - Sebastien Levesque, 33rd - Carter Crutchfield, 40th - Muon Collider, 68th - Jurijs Ralfs

Carolina Kraken  Kraken
2nd - Olivija Agate, 8th - Ongo Gablogian, 24th - Jack "Jumpshot" Keigan, 46th - Mathias Olivera, 60th - Vincent van Gogh, 74th - benno vaage

Colorado Raptors Raptors
3rd - Pinli Switchbang, 17th - Andrade La Sombra, 45th - Supreme Dalek

Detroit Falcons  Falcons
5th - Kal Akar Kekkonen, 35th - Teemu Salami, 49th - Luke fromm, 63rd - Æric Calland

Great Falls Grizzlies  Grizzlies
15th - Niclas Sundqvist, 29th - David Doughtty, 36th - Warwick Windsor, 43rd - Dave Bardizz, 47th - Viktor Vyzovsky, 57th - WonderBread

Kelowna Knights  Knights
16th - Come O'Dirga, 30th - Journey Man, 44th - Blant Chorski

Maine Timber  Timber
14th - Edouard Lavoie, 27th - Jean-Jacques Francois Jacques-Jean, 21st - Mia Lavoie, 48th - Shotty McStopper, 69th - Jonesy Fortnite,

Nevada Battleborn  Battleborn
10th - Literally Wizard, 25th - Caspian Leevi, 53rd - Simon Kotek

Newfoundland Berserkers  Berserkers 
13th - Eric Vanderberg Jr, 23rd - Slowpoke, 37th - Launchpad McQuack

Quebec City Citadelles  Citadelles
1st - Demir Bellona, 7th - Song Ju-gong, 12th - Fredrik Gronlund

Regina Elk  Elk 
9th - Violet Stoica, 18th - Bean Beanman Jr., 20th - Inge Baardsen, 31st - Mary Hollywood, 38th - Roman Cechmanek II, 52nd - Henri Losanov

St. Louis Scarecrows  Scarecrows
4th - Charlie Slurpe, 32nd - James Madison, 54th - Charlie van Keyzer, 62nd - Cedar Lawson

Vancouver Whalers  Whalers
22nd - Niclas Wastlund, 28th - Bo Jangles, 41st - Kolen Henderson, 42nd - Masked Stanger

Yukon Malamutes  Malamutes
11th - Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava, 19th - Elly Snow-Leopard, 39th - Wellerman, 61st - Olafur Gunnleifsson, 75th - Rocket Deke


A deep and successful draft for the SMJHL, with a new wave of talent coming in the stage is set to see which rookies make the biggest impact in not just their rookie season, but their junior careers.

If you're still reading this, thanks for sticking around and stay tuned for the next edition of Tentacle Tales, (probably midpoint of the season).

19687 characters / 4079 words

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#2

Great stuff, Calamari guy

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Shoutout TheOPSquid for the Sig
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#3

Good read! Shout out to Wayne who basically had little support from us Falcons on the ice.

Also I expected a different kind of tentacle tale but glad I got this one.



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#4

Definitely expected more hentai from the title.

“The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. ... There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”

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#5

No tentacles, disappointed.



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#6

11-28-2023, 02:20 PMroastpuff Wrote: Good read! Shout out to Wayne who basically had little support from us Falcons on the ice.

Also I expected a different kind of tentacle tale but glad I got this one.

Hey man I'm on the defensive forwards list! speak for yourself!

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