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***Inf1d3l*** · 04-10-2024, 02:11 PM

So I was struggling to find a topic to work on to Deep Dive with and then it hit me. We can rate the teams based on their player's names. Some names are funny, hokey, dumb, or just boring, and we can break down every SMJHL team in the league, one by one, and rate them based on this. As a precursor, if I rate your name badly or do not rate it at all, it's just entertainment value based on the name alone in my own eyes and, really, means nothing beyond me trying to earn Deep Dive TPE.

Anchorage - The first name that stands out here is Jamario Moon. I'm not sure why but I really like this name, it feels interesting just hearing it, and it rolls off the tongue. Also Squlliam Fancyson is a fun take. Muon Collider is super underrated, one could even say it's a Deep Thought. See what I did there? Yeah, i Stun Gun-ned ya didn't I? Ok so that's it for the good names but a couple winners right there. Sadly they have an Adam Joy and Lyle Odelein IV to bring them back down to earth a bit with some plain jane names. Overall I'm giving the Armada an B+ on the name front.

Carolina - Ok, bias aside, since I won't rate my own player's dumb name, Swedish Chef is fantastic, obviously, and Peppi Guiseppe works well along side it as another European name that's fun to say. Sadly beyond that, I'm a bit disappointed here beyond that, many of the names are un-funny or plain. We have a guy nicknamed "Jumpshot" which is great if this was basketball, and some others like Walter Melon, David Grimes, and Lukas Fischer, which are just... names. I rate the Kraken a C- here.

Colorado - Zhen Serkr is a fun one, as is Andrade La Sombra, very unique and interesting to say. Oranj Konhe is neat as well, and honestly as I keep going through the roster, I think the only boring names might be Trent Wiseman and Leonard Wood. Even Charlie Slurpe makes me want a flavored ice drink so that gets a pass. The Raptors obviously know how to draft big names so they get a solid A from me.

Detroit - Chairy Styles made me laugh out loud, thanks for that. Simo Jääskeläinen and Anastasia Söderström are nice foreign names to round out the WJC/IIHF rosters. One could even say that those names are Rock Solid. And where is Luke fromm? Same place as Kal Åkar Kekkonen? Sadly they still have a Conner Ray and Theo Kane to bring them back down a bit. Oooh wait, Teemu Salami makes me hungry. I'll give the Falcons a B+ because the good ones were very good and I got my first actual chuckle here.

Great Falls - AT-AT Wøllker is a fantastic name, and I really like Marián Hanák as well as Gordon-William Gibbles, but the rest are sorta plain. Couple more food references here such as Huice Williams, John Peanut, and WonderBread work out for make some sort of lunch. Maybe you'd want Icee in the Juice? Who knows. Overall mostly unimpressed here, but hey, not everyone needs a dumb name like mines. Giving the Grizzlies a B-

Kelowna - Rounding out my first of two Deep Dives is Kelowna, who has Hummus God (I've seen this name before somewhere...), someone named Tater Tot (best way to have a potato, hands down, fight me), and Savva Kirik is a great name too imo. Plug in a Jennifer Huh and Doom Guy and you're on the way to a final four level talent of names. The Knights get themselves a solid A- for this set.

*Scrufdaddy* · 04-17-2024, 11:26 PM

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