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Standing Against Insensitivity
#1

Code:
748 words of righteous indignation

I stand (sit) here aghast at what is happening in my SHL. As many of you are no doubt aware, the IIHF World Juniors’ return was announced last night to much fanfare and support. What you may not be aware of is that due to the delineation of the teams, this tournament is basically the worst thing to ever happen. Allow me to explain.
  • Team USA White and Team USA Blue. Wow. I don’t even know where to start with this. After centuries of being segregated by color we once again return to those dark times with our World Juniors teams. Not only that but the team opposing USA White is going to be BLUE?! Blue. The universal color of sadness, negativity, and depression. So we’re saying that all Americans that aren’t white are blue?! The nerve.
  • Team Canada Red and Team Canada Black. On a website in which we typically try to stray from misguided stereotypes of cultures I can’t believe we’ve assigned Canada the colors Red and Black as if they’re a bunch of anarcho-communists. Not only that but by leaving out Blue or White you’ve made this team a hostile environment for all French-Canadians. For shame.
  • Team Ireland. As if there’s only one Ireland. I’m shocked that nobody on the World Juniors organizing team has enough of a handle on geography to know that there is a Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. To which does this team refer? The world may never know. What we do know is that these Irelands were literally killing each other not long ago. Huge dick move by the IIHF here.
  • Team British Isles. This is the first of the untenable teams. Including both Irelands on a team with Great Britain is truly disgusting after they were subject to centuries of oppression at British hands. Forcing British players to play alongside Irish players mere decades after Irish bombs rocked Britain is unforgivable.
  • Team Norway and Sweden. Oh sure, lump two of the Scandinavian countries together, what could go wrong?? How quickly we forget the Swedes invaded and occupied Norway just two centuries ago and once beat them 11-3 in an international soccer friendly. Peak insensitivity.
  • Team Denmark and Finland. Unbelievable that these two vastly different countries were slapped together just because they’re vaguely northern and touch the Baltic Sea. Expecting Finns to play alongside Danes after the Danes helped Russia conquer Finland just over 200 years ago is unbelievable and I find it hard to believe that the IIHF team that organized this event is so insensitive to delicate geo-political history.
  • Team Europe East. Wow. Just wow. Much has been made of subjecting these small Baltic countries to playing alongside Russians but that’s just the tip of this insensitive iceberg. It feels like just yesterday that the 1561 Treaty of Vilnius was signed that forced Latvia into Lithuanian subjugation. Unbelievable what the IIHF is putting these players through.
  • Team Europe West. France, Italy, Spain, and Germany on the same team???? You must be joking. Pick up a history book for once, holy shit. These are ancient and hated geopolitical rivals clearly incapable of playing on the same hockey team. Liechtenstein is a country that definitely exists.
  • Team Europe Central. This is almost as bad as Europe East. Just as centuries upon centuries of Austrian military, political, and religious domination of these countries begins to fade the IIHF decides to slap them in the face by forcing them to play together in the World Juniors. I can’t remember the last time I saw an insult like this.
  • Team Mercenaries????????????????? Mercenaries are like, totally bad and stuff. I find it a bit self-righteous and arrogant that anyone outside of the US, Canada, and Europe is simply relegated to mercenary status as if they’re honorless savages looking for a quick buck. Plus, even though the IIHF doesn’t care about any of these countries or even acknowledge their existence a lot of them have done fucked up shit to each other that pales in comparison to Russia-Latvian, French-German, or British-Irish squabbles.
As you can see this tournament being called “World Juniors” is an incredible misnomer. I propose we change the name to “World Holy Shit We’re Insensitive Assholes Who Lack All Awareness of Culture and History And Only Care About Sim League Hockey.” I hope you’ll all join me in my BOYCOTT of this tool of oppression to show The Man that we will not defile ourselves by cowing to his demands.

#NotMyWorldJuniors

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#2

wow top notch read

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#3

Well done.

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#4

Hahaha





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#5

World Holy Shit We’re Insensitive Assholes Who Lack All Awareness of Culture and History And Only Care About Sim League Hockey

WHSWIAWLAACHOCASLH.

Thanks for the sig ragnar!
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#6

Rename to Simulation Hockey International Tournament

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#7

#NotMyWorldJuniors

gj tho haha

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#8

"... there is a Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. To which does this team refer?"

my guess is the one that is simply called Ireland. Tongue

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#9

To all those who threaten to cancel my beloved WJC:

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#10

Amazing

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#11

I say we burn Dankoa at the stake

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#12

Quote:Originally posted by JumpierPegasus@Jan 7 2018, 06:20 PM
I say we burn Dankoa at the stake
Texas prefers the electric chair

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#13

Bahaha
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#14

I love this :lol:

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#15

Also this article is insensitive to those in wheelchairs

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