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Merica · 09-21-2013, 10:31 PM

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OLD SPICE COMES TO THE SHL

Old Spice is well known for their endorsements of professional athletes, their line of masculine, women pleasing scents have been flying off the shelves for years, particularly amongst NFL fans. But now, they are extending their reach into the realm of hockey, primarily the SHL, becoming the leagues official deodorant product.

With this announcement came the endorsement of two young, rising stars who will be entering their rookie campaign with a lot of expectations upon their shoulders, and the introduction of two new scents to go along with it. If you want to take a stab at who these athletes are, I am willing to bet you'll at least get one of them correct, because it won't be a shocker.

[Image: CLhNoyP.png]

First, we have Daniel Merica, the most arrogant, self-absorbed player in the league, depending on who you ask, who will be sporting the new fragrance "Ultimate Arrogance". Yes, you heard that right. The official tag line is "Ultimate Arrogance...The Smell Of Merica!". Surprised? we aren't. And, honestly, there really isn't anyone better to represent such a title, because he has created the perfect persona to go along with it, to the point where people aren't surprised and probably just think to themselves "Oh, Merica is being Merica, next story". But Old Spice isn't dumb, the Merica name is well known, whether you like it or not, and his #88 Riot sweater is #1 amongst sales for rookies, bottom line- he sells.

[Image: 8qmrARi.png]

Teaming up on the train to the top of the SHL hit list, we have goaltender Urijah Winnfield. The young star was very outspoken over the recent "snubbing" of the Top Goaltender Award in the SMJHL, losing out to Jordin FourFour, despite posting the most wins, best GAA and leading his team to the best overall record in the league. He had a Merica-esque rant over it, and Old Spice took notice, finding the perfect match to complete their duo. Winnfield will be endorsing the brand new take on the well known "Swagger" line, taking it to the next level with "Ultimate Swagger...Winning Never Smelled So Good". Winnfield, while not as outspoken as his counterpart (to be fair, who is?), is very forthright with his opinions and is one of the few who doesn't kiss the ass of the SHL, but unlike Merica, he has a quieter, more responsible way of going about it.

We were able to get quotes from both individuals regarding their thoughts about teaming up with Old Spice after the official announcement, disclaimer warning...here is what they had to say:

Daniel Merica:
- I'm thrilled, I'll take any chance to get my name out there in a positive manner and when Old Spice approached me with the idea of my own line of products, how could I say no? I'd buy it, it smells like Freedom and America had sex. Sure, you might be thinking it's a little overboard, I mean "Ultimate Arrogance"? Really? And I say hell yes, because I am arrogant, I will admit I cross the line of confidence and over into the arrogant realm, because that's who I am, I am good at what I do and I know it, there is a reason they came to me, and not, say, Tutencumming or however you say it, so I will make sure everyone else knows it. And while I have your attention, pick up your own #88 and come on out to opening night , it's going to be a special night in Seattle, a Fucking Riot....and buy Old Spice, too.

Urijah Winnfield:
-When Old Spice called me saying that they wanted to give me an endorsement I thought to myself, "Finally, someone who isn't blind and can see true talent." It's pretty funny that I got the endorsement over that fuck "Fourfour", what kind of name is that anyway? We all know that he either sucked off Toast or all the general managers that had voted for him. If I had to put my money on either, I would bet on him getting gang banged by all the general managers. Platoonza for life.

As you can see, both individuals perfectly represent their product line, hopefully Old Spice thought through their decision, because it will only escalate from here if they have success in the SHL, or if your Merica, it won't really matter, he'll never stop thinking or acting like he's better then you.

So, if your in your local wal-mart, pick up some "Ultimate Arrogance" or "Ultimate Swagger" and prepare to have the Daniel Merica and Urijah Winnfield endorphin "don't give a f**k" race through your body.</div>

Code:
763 Words, 2 Pics

Credits:
- Ghostspeed for the tag line "Ultimate Arrogance...Smell Like Merica!"
- 701 for both graphics and Winnfield Quote

Seventy-Four · 09-21-2013, 10:35 PM

Wow I am blown away.

701 and Merica working toghter, doesn't get much better

Kesler17 · 09-21-2013, 10:37 PM

Gay I want my own old spice :(

Merica · 09-21-2013, 10:44 PM

Quote:Originally posted by meow@Sep 21 2013, 08:35 PM
Wow I am blown away.

701 and Merica working toghter, doesn't get much better

Just wait, it'll get better.

***HabsFanFromOntario*** · 09-21-2013, 10:45 PM

Quote:Originally posted by 'Merica@Sep 21 2013, 10:44 PM

Just wait, it'll get better.

I knew you were bringing me in the next one.

701 aka YUNG GUAP GOD · 09-21-2013, 10:46 PM

All I have to say is, fuck you fourfour, and all the blind fucking general managers.

Ragnar · 09-21-2013, 10:48 PM

Daniel Merica - the self proclaimed #1 seller.

In other news, Morleys jersey is the #1 seller among moms and serbian children.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

701 aka YUNG GUAP GOD · 09-21-2013, 10:49 PM

Quote:Originally posted by HabsFanFromOntario@Sep 21 2013, 08:45 PM

I knew you were bringing me in the next one.

ULTIMATE HELICOCKSUCKER?

701 aka YUNG GUAP GOD · 09-21-2013, 10:50 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Ragnar#sweg@Sep 21 2013, 08:48 PM
Daniel Merica - the self proclaimed #1 seller.

In other news, Morleys jersey is the #1 seller among moms and serbian children.

My jerseys went to Africa, it's one of the few good things about losing in the finals.

Ghostspeed · 09-21-2013, 10:52 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Kesler17@Sep 21 2013, 07:37 PM
Gay I want my own old spice :(

I'll help you out its...OLD SPICE
Stryker's Stagger..... the smell of CHEESE

Merica your welcome ..
Stryker ...take a Shower...

[Image: godaddy_facebook_van_damme.jpg]

Merica · 09-21-2013, 10:53 PM

Quote:Originally posted by HabsFanFromOntario@Sep 21 2013, 08:45 PM

I knew you were bringing me in the next one.

We all know this would never work.

JNH · 09-21-2013, 10:55 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Ghostspeed@Sep 21 2013, 09:52 PM

I'll help you out its...OLD SPICE
Stryker's Stagger..... the smell of CHEESE

Merica your welcome ..
Stryker ...take a Shower...

***HabsFanFromOntario*** · 09-21-2013, 10:58 PM

LOL I am marketability incarnate.

HOFF · 09-21-2013, 10:58 PM

Two of my favs!
This is just pure awesome.

*Otrebor13* · 09-21-2013, 11:01 PM

Merica, your articles are awesome :lol:

It's unfortunate Old Spice chose the less talented, less attractive Winnfield. Oh well, what can you do?

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